SO DARK, THE SANTACON OF MAN: Hoboken SantaCon Set to Lay Siege to the City — Saturday, December 16

This is neither an endorsement nor a condemnation—it’s simply an intelligence briefing.

Hoboken SantaCon 2017 is upon us this Saturday, December 16. Of course, we all fondly cherish this blessed, traditional holiday carol…

The Hoboken event takes place the weekend after the NYC SantaCon—which this year was decidedly tame, yielding only one arrest.

Social media posts were also relatively quiet, compared to the high drama of recent NYC SantaCon events…

Drunk santa’s fighting , in memory of Santacon. #SantaCon #SantaConNyc pic.twitter.com/SzghxYWMgF

— The Brahma Bull🐮 (@Jarahhhh) December 9, 2017

Nevertheless, with a concentration of establishments in a small geographic area, Hoboken SantaCon does tend to get a bit crowded.

Here is a list of participating venues:

• Hoboken Bar & Grill
• Texas Arizona
• Cadillac Cantina
• Biggies
• The Shannon
• Birch
• Hotel Victor Bar & Grill
• 1 Republik
• Havana Cafe
• Mills Tavern
• Black Bear Bar
• Tally Ho
• Village Pourhouse
  …and more!

According to the good people at PubCrawls.com, seemingly, “a portion of proceeds will be donated to Kidz1st, Inc.,” and drink specials will include, “$3 Drafts, $4 Domestic Bottles, $5 Mixed Well Cocktails!”

“Picture thousands of Santa’s [sic] running wild through the streets of Hoboken and having access to some of the best bars you can imagine,” says PubCrawls.com, on the Hoboken SantaCon event page. “That’s exactly what you’ll get with this great event.”

And in case you thought this was just some unhinged free-for-all, we’ve also found the list official “SantaCon Guidelines“: 

1. Have fun.
2. Don’t black out.
3. Must be 21, bars will not allow entry to under-aged participants
4. Address your fellow santa as “Santa.”
5. Watch out for elves. Elves work hard for Santa all year and especially hard during the holiday season. Santa loves his elves except when they show up to his red-themed event dressed in green. Traditionally, elves are abused at SantaCon.
6. Not all these guidelines should be taken seriously.
7. Some of these guidelines should be taken very seriously. If you can’t work out which ones they are then you are not intelligent enough to take part in SantaCon.
8. Don’t get drunk in public. Being drunk &/or disorderly in public will tarnish Santa’s reputation. One bad santa can ruin things for an entire location because we’re all dressed the same, duh. Also, it’s an offense and will get you arrested. Remember that there is no “bail fund” for incarcerated santas and if you cross the line you’ll be on your own. Don’t be that Santa.
9. If you do get drunk in public, you should get into a fight with other santas, get arrested as quickly as possible (before anyone gets hurt), be carted away in handcuffs and have the whole thing recorded on video for the evening news and Youtube.
10. Santa does not make children cry. Does this really need to be said? Seriously, if you see kids, don’t do anything to freak them out. Give them a nice smile and possibly a gift of some kind…
11. Optionally, bring gifts: Nice things to give children; nice or naughty things for adults.
12. Santa does not mess with security. This includes the police. Security staff are there to ensure everyone’s safety – it’s an important & necessary job. Most venues welcome Santa (especially the venues who we have deals worked out with) but some security staff will see you as a potentially dangerous mob wearing disguises (which, let’s face it, is probably true). If you are turned away, don’t argue – just move on to somewhere Santa is more welcome and can have fun.
13. Santa doesn’t drink & drive. If you’re going to drink you must make sure that you can get safely home without driving yourself. Check public transport, carpool with a designated sober driver, make arrangements to sleep over at someone’s place etc.
14. Don’t urinate in public.. imagine your child-self witnessing Santa doing that.. you’d be scarred forever!
15. Have a very Merry Christmas!!

#SantaCon #RedDawn