THIS JUST IN: Crack Cocaine Allegedly Makes You a Crazy Man Who Throws Knives

Hoboken’s doormen have to endure a lot of hassles—drunk bros, bad fakes, that annoying girl who keeps trying to talk to them as she smokes her 10th cigarette in the past hour…

Now we have a new item to add to that list—some guy allegedly having a crack pipe and throwing knives from his apartment window. Good times.

Christian Hoffman, 32, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, terroristic threats, possession of a weapon, unlawful possession of a weapon and possession of drug paraphernalia. He allegedly threw knives and other utensils from his third-floor Park Avenue window, while threatening to kill passersby.

A doorman at Turtle Club witnessed the incident unfolding and reported it to police—who responded to Hoffman’s apartment twice, the second time scaling a fire escape to get into Hoffman’s apartment.

Police found Hoffman hiding behind a door. Furthermore, they found a glass pipe plus an instrument used to grind crack cocaine, according to NJ.com.

No injuries were reported.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Chief Petty Officer Casey Ryback—a.k.a. Steven Seagal [pictured]—was in no way implicated in this incident. We at hMAG.com simply admire his mad knife skills.)