RED STORM RISING: Hoboken SantaCon is Coming to Town — SATURDAY

Posted on December 16, 2016 in Events, hNOW

This is neither an endorsement nor a condemnation—this is simply an intelligence briefing…

As opposed to years past, there is no rendezvous point, no strategic initiative. Here’s what we know, via the Hoboken SantaCon page on Facebook.

“We are happy to announce that this year’s Ho-Ho-Hoboken SantaCon will take place on Saturday, 12/17!!

This year we will not be selling or distributing any wristbands of any kind and the event is totally free to attend. We only ask that you please register for the event so we can provide the bars a good headcount and keep you posted if details change!

Please register: https://hohohobokensantacon16.eventbrite.com/”

Proceeds will go to The Boys & Girls Club of Hudson County.

Further down toward the bottom of that page, there’s this “disclaimer”:

“Note: this event is to be attended at your own risk and we have no affiliation with any other events running in Hoboken on this day.”

Rules of Engagement are as follows (and we’re quoting here…):

SANTACON GUIDELINES
1) Have fun.
2) Don’t black out.
3) Must be 21, bars will not allow entry to under-aged participants – We will not give refunds for anyone who purchased a ticket underage.
4) Address your fellow santa as “Santa.”
5) Watch out for elves. Elves work hard for Santa all year and especially hard during the holiday season. Santa loves his elves except when they show up to his red-themed event dressed in green. Traditionally, elves are abused at SantaCon.
6) Not all these guidelines should be taken seriously.
7) Some of these guidelines should be taken very seriously. If you can’t work out which ones they are then you are not intelligent enough to take part in SantaCon.
8) Don’t get drunk in public. Being drunk &/or disorderly in public will tarnish Santa’s reputation. One bad santa can ruin things for an entire location because we’re all dressed the same, duh. Also, it’s an offense and will get you arrested. Remember that there is no “bail fund” for incarcerated santas and if you cross the line you’ll be on your own. Don’t be that Santa.
9) If you do get drunk in public, you should get into a fight with other santas, get arrested as quickly as possible (before anyone gets hurt), be carted away in handcuffs and have the whole thing recorded on video for the evening news and Youtube.
10) Santa does not make children cry. Does this really need to be said? Seriously, if you see kids, don’t do anything to freak them out. Give them a nice smile and possibly a gift of some kind…
11) Optionally, bring gifts: Nice things to give children; nice or naughty things for adults.
12) Santa does not mess with security. This includes the police. Security staff are there to ensure everyone’s safety – it’s an important & necessary job. Most venues welcome Santa (especially the venues who we have deals worked out with) but some security staff will see you as a potentially dangerous mob wearing disguises (which, let’s face it, is probably true). If you are turned away, don’t argue – just move on to somewhere Santa is more welcome and can have fun.
13) Santa doesn’t drink & drive. If you’re going to drink you must make sure that you can get safely home without driving yourself. Check public transport, carpool with a designated sober driver, make arrangements to sleep over at someone’s place etc.
14) Don’t urinate in public.. imagine your child-self witnessing Santa doing that.. you’d be scarred forever!
15) Have a very merry Christmas!